Cesedim k\u0131y\u0131ya vurdu\u011funda 24 ya\u015f\u0131mdan hen\u00fcz iki g\u00fcn alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bizim co\u011frafyam\u0131zda hep saklamba\u00e7 oyunudur hayat. Oynamak istemedi\u011finizde bile sizi i\u00e7ine \u00e7eker. Baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 da benim gibi engin sularda sobeler ans\u0131z\u0131n.
\nBir keresinde bombalar\u0131n delik de\u015fik etti\u011fi \u015fehir meydan\u0131ndan ge\u00e7erken\u00a0 “Nas\u0131l \u00f6lmek istersin?” diye sormu\u015ftu karde\u015fim Kawa. Tedirgin bir \u015fekilde etraf\u0131 kola\u00e7an ederken ans\u0131z\u0131n gelen soru kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda afallam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Yeni bir bomban\u0131n hedefi olmak ya da bir rejim askeri taraf\u0131ndan k\u00f6r bir kur\u015funa denk gelmek istemezdim. Kafamda d\u00f6n\u00fcp duran d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelere yo\u011funla\u015f\u0131p ona cevap vermeye u\u011fra\u015f\u0131rken Kawa sordu\u011fu soruyu \u00e7oktan unutmu\u015f, bir \u015fark\u0131 m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yordu: \u201cDo\u011fdu\u011fum yerde \u00e7i\u00e7ekler a\u00e7maz, g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc hep karanl\u0131k, yery\u00fcz\u00fc hep alevler i\u00e7inde…\u201d \u0130rkildim; \u015fark\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6zlerinden mi, birinin bizi g\u00f6r\u00fcp vurmas\u0131nda m\u0131 ya da hen\u00fcz on ya\u015f\u0131nda \u00f6rg\u00fcl\u00fc sa\u00e7lar\u0131 ve kocaman p\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l g\u00f6zleri olan bir k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011funun dilinde b\u00f6yle bir \u015fark\u0131y\u0131 normalmi\u015f gibi s\u00f6ylemesinden mi bilmiyorum. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimi toparlay\u0131p Kawa\u2019n\u0131n elini s\u0131k\u0131ca kavrad\u0131m. Bir an \u00f6nce erzaklar\u0131 al\u0131p eve d\u00f6nmeliydik.
\nBombalamalardan sonra \u015fehir merkezinde sadece d\u00f6rt d\u00fckk\u00e2n ayakta kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 yiyecek ve ihtiya\u00e7lar i\u00e7in. Y\u0131k\u0131k duvarlar aras\u0131ndan ge\u00e7ip Affan\u2019\u0131n d\u00fckk\u00e2n\u0131na y\u00f6neldik. Camlar\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131k kap\u0131s\u0131 y\u0131k\u0131lmamas\u0131 i\u00e7in iki kalas ile desteklenmi\u015fti. Affan at\u0131lan bir roketle a\u011f\u0131r yaralan\u0131nca sokakta oyunlar oynayan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck o\u011flu Mohammed aniden yeti\u015fkinli\u011fe terfi etmi\u015f, d\u00fckk\u00e2na gelen herkese yiyecek sa\u011flamaya adeta ant i\u00e7mi\u015f gibi yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131vas\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f duvarlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndaki b\u00f6lmelerden un ve ya\u011f tart\u0131p kaplara dolduruyordu. Bizi fark etti\u011finde eskiden oldu\u011fu gibi y\u00fcz\u00fcnde ayd\u0131nl\u0131k bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f belirmedi, aksine yeti\u015fkinlere \u00f6zg\u00fc bir ciddiyetle Kawa\u2019n\u0131n elindeki kab\u0131 al\u0131p sessizce un doldurdu. Bir \u015fi\u015fe de ya\u011f katt\u0131. Paray\u0131 eline b\u0131rak\u0131rken g\u00f6zlerinden ge\u00e7en neden sorusunu g\u00f6rmezden geldim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sorunun cevab\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyordum. Sadece Mohammed de\u011fil sokakta kime sorsan\u0131z ailesinden onlarca ki\u015fiyi kaybetmi\u015fti bu sava\u015fta. Gelece\u011fe dair her umut k\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131 bombalarla y\u0131k\u0131lan duvarlar\u0131n alt\u0131nda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bir bir.
\nBenim do\u011fdu\u011fum yerde gen\u00e7 ya\u015fta \u00f6l\u00fcm, \u015fa\u015f\u0131lacak bir \u015fey olmaktan \u00e7ok yazg\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r. Tesad\u00fcflere ba\u011fl\u0131 ya\u015famakta olan bizler sabahlar\u0131 evden \u00e7\u0131karken ailemizle adeta helalle\u015fir, eve geri d\u00f6nebildi\u011fimiz her ak\u015fam da hayatta kalm\u0131\u015f olman\u0131n buruk ne\u015fesi ile e\u015fikten i\u00e7eri gireriz. Geceleri bomba sesleri aras\u0131nda karde\u015flerimle saymaca oynard\u0131k. En k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz Amani korkmas\u0131n diye, say\u0131 sayarken patlayan bomba olursa \u015feker kazan\u0131yordu. Bizim \u00f6yle s\u0131radan oyunlar\u0131m\u0131z yoktu. Varillere saklanmaca vard\u0131 bir de; patlamalar \u015fiddetlendi\u011finde herkes girer sessizlik geldi\u011finde \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131k ortaya. Hayatta kalmaca \u00f6d\u00fcll\u00fc bu oyundan pek haz etmezdi bizim ufakl\u0131klar.
\nBa\u015fka \u00fclkelere ka\u00e7ma haberleri kulaktan kula\u011fa yay\u0131lmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda babam elinde kalan son paray\u0131 da tekne kaptan\u0131na verip Kawa ve Amani\u2019yi yan\u0131ma katm\u0131\u015f, kurulan son c\u00fcmlelerin y\u0131k\u0131k d\u00f6k\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve hasarl\u0131 y\u00fcreklerle ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k \u00fclkeden. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck teknede iki karde\u015fimin ellerinden s\u0131k\u0131ca tutmu\u015f karanl\u0131k gecenin bile \u00f6rtemedi\u011fi bu sava\u015f\u0131n utan\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ge\u00e7iriyordum akl\u0131mdan. Adaletsizlik do\u011fdu\u011fumuz g\u00fcn yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 sanki bedenimize ve ruhumuza.
\nTekne sallanmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda elini s\u0131k\u0131ca tuttu\u011fum karde\u015flerime tekrar bakt\u0131m. Kawa y\u00fcz\u00fcnde bulutlu bir ifade ile hala uyuyordu. G\u00fczel bir r\u00fcya g\u00f6rmedi\u011fi kesindi. Amani a\u011f\u0131r bir sisin yava\u015f\u00e7a kalkmas\u0131 gibi hi\u00e7 acele etmeden a\u00e7t\u0131 gece karas\u0131 g\u00f6zlerini. Bu g\u00f6zlere dikkatlice baksan\u0131z derinlerde bir yerde birka\u00e7 y\u0131ld\u0131z g\u00f6rebilirdiniz eski g\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerden kalma. Tekne bu sefer daha \u015fiddetli sallanmaya ba\u015flad\u0131
\nG\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcn\u00fcn zihnimin i\u00e7inden mi yoksa d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki kalabal\u0131k g\u00fcruhtan m\u0131 kaynakland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ay\u0131rt edemeden bir s\u00fcre \u00f6ylece bakt\u0131m. Yeti\u015fkin erkekler, s\u00f6z birli\u011fi etmi\u015f\u00e7esine toplan\u0131p denize atlad\u0131k; k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckler ve kad\u0131nlar kurtulur umuduyla. Bu Amani\u2019nin bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm son y\u0131ld\u0131zs\u0131z geceydi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Cesedim k\u0131y\u0131ya vurdu\u011funda 24 ya\u015f\u0131mdan hen\u00fcz iki g\u00fcn alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bizim co\u011frafyam\u0131zda hep saklamba\u00e7 oyunudur hayat. Oynamak istemedi\u011finizde bile sizi i\u00e7ine \u00e7eker. Baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 da benim gibi engin sularda sobeler ans\u0131z\u0131n. Bir keresinde bombalar\u0131n delik de\u015fik etti\u011fi ...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":141,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[57],"tags":[56,55],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=140"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":142,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140\/revisions\/142"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/141"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}