Ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131kla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Vapurdan inen kar\u0131nca yuvas\u0131n\u0131 and\u0131ran kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n<\/p>\n
aras\u0131na kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onu g\u00f6rmemi\u015f olmas\u0131n\u0131 diledi. \u015eu an istedi\u011fi son \u015fey saatlerce<\/p>\n
nasihat dinlemekti. Kalabal\u0131ktan s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p arka soka\u011fa sapt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u015fehrin u\u011fultusu<\/p>\n
b\u0131\u00e7ak gibi kesildi. Nefes al\u0131p veri\u015fi normal ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6nd\u00fc. Nabz\u0131 yine eski<\/p>\n
d\u00fczenine kavu\u015ftu. Sessizlik! ne zamand\u0131r buna \u00f6yle ihtiyac\u0131 vard\u0131 ki. Derin bir i\u00e7<\/p>\n
\u00e7ekti. Bu arka sokak, onda t\u0131pk\u0131 ruhunun derinlikleri gibi kaybolmu\u015fluk hissi<\/p>\n
uyand\u0131r\u0131yordu. Sol omzuna biri dokunmu\u015f gibi irkildi. S\u0131\u011f\u0131na\u011f\u0131nda ele ge\u00e7irilmi\u015f<\/p>\n
olamazd\u0131. Nereye gitse mutlaka o da g\u00f6lge gibi pe\u015findeydi. Gizli yerinde gafil<\/p>\n
avlanmas\u0131 can\u0131n\u0131 fena s\u0131kt\u0131. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p sesin geldi\u011fi y\u00f6ne bakmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde<\/p>\n
yarg\u0131layan bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 iliklerinde hissetti. V\u00fccudunu tepeden t\u0131rna\u011fa<\/p>\n
bir titreme ald\u0131. H\u0131zl\u0131ca savunmas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irdi. Arenada kan\u0131n\u0131n son<\/p>\n
damlas\u0131na kadar sava\u015fan yine de sonunda yenilen bir kahraman gibi ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131<\/p>\n
hafif\u00e7e \u00f6ne e\u011fdi. \u00c7aresizce gelmekte olan s\u00f6zler silsilesini kar\u015f\u0131lamaya<\/p>\n
haz\u0131rland\u0131. Kararl\u0131yd\u0131. Yine eski konular\u0131 a\u00e7acak olursa bu kez kesinlikle cevap<\/p>\n
vermeyecekti. Bekledi. Nas\u0131l olsa Konu\u015fmay\u0131 hep o ba\u015flat\u0131rd\u0131. Rit\u00fcel bozulmad\u0131.<\/p>\n
Sesi derin bir \u0131zd\u0131rap \u00e7eker gibiydi.<\/p>\n
\u201cBu, her zaman yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n gibi kafan\u0131 di\u011fer tarafa \u00e7evirip g\u00f6rmezden gelece\u011fin bir<\/p>\n
mevzu de\u011fil\u201d<\/p>\n
Ses, m\u00fccadele etmekten yorgun ve olduk\u00e7a mesafeliydi. S\u00f6ze rutin diyaloglar<\/p>\n
ile ba\u015flamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kim bilir belki de yeni bir taktik deniyordu. Kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 uzayan<\/p>\n
s\u00f6zs\u00fcz, sanki bir as\u0131r s\u00fcren bekleyi\u015fin ard\u0131ndan durumun ruhunu daha da<\/p>\n
s\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etti. Dayanamad\u0131. \u201cYine beni su\u00e7luyorsun de\u011fil mi? Tan\u0131m\u0131yorum<\/p>\n
bile kad\u0131n\u0131. Ne yapsayd\u0131m adamlar\u0131n elinden tutup polise mi verseydim. Ben<\/p>\n
sadece bu d\u00fcnyada ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 belaya sokmadan hayatta kalmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n
Neden konu\u015fmuyorsun?\u201d cevap alamay\u0131nca hiddetlendi. Oysa kendisinin hi\u00e7 bir<\/p>\n
su\u00e7u yoktu. \u00c7ocuklu\u011fundan beri o hep b\u00f6yleydi. T\u00fcm o g\u00f6rmezden<\/p>\n
gelmelerinin \u00fczerini kimselere hatta kendine bile duyurmadan usulca \u00f6rterdi.<\/p>\n
Savunmas\u0131nda bir sonraki a\u015famaya ge\u00e7meye haz\u0131rlan\u0131yordu ki tekrar tekrar<\/p>\n
izledi\u011fi film zihninin derinliklerinde yeniden oynamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Bu arka sokakta<\/p>\n
i\u015fte tam da \u015fu k\u00f6\u015fede o g\u00fcruh a\u011fz\u0131ndan ate\u015f sa\u00e7arak hep bir a\u011f\u0131zdan<\/p>\n
ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu \u201cs\u00f6yle kad\u0131n m\u0131s\u0131n? erkek misin? namussuz seni\u201d. Bir filmi izler gibi<\/p>\n
sakince birseksenlik ihti\u015faml\u0131 boyuyla yerde yatan kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcndeki hayat<\/p>\n
\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6nmesini izledi. S\u0131rayla i\u015flerini bitirip hen\u00fcz fermuarlar\u0131n\u0131 bile<\/p>\n
kapatmadan ellerindeki sopa ve b\u0131\u00e7aklar\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne savuran o adamlar\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131.<\/p>\n
Mahallenin s\u00f6zde namusunu koruyan zift gibi karanl\u0131k y\u00fcrekli o adamlar, kad\u0131n\u0131n<\/p>\n
hak etti\u011fi cezay\u0131 nihayet verdi. Yerine getirdikleri kutsal sorumlulu\u011fun kirli sar\u0131<\/p>\n
\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 her birinin y\u00fcz\u00fcnde tek tek belirdi\u011finde polis olay yerine ancak intikal etmi\u015fti. Y\u0131llard\u0131r b\u0131kmadan usanmadan tekrarlay\u0131p duran film karesi, maktul\u00fcn<\/p>\n
y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki yo\u011fun makyaj\u0131n alt\u0131nda hen\u00fcz \u00e7\u0131kmaya ba\u015flayan sakallar\u0131nda ve<\/p>\n
bile\u011finden d\u00fc\u015fen g\u00f6kku\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ipe tak\u0131l\u0131 halde dondu kald\u0131. Her hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda<\/p>\n
daha da uzayan bu sahne de dikkatini kar\u0131ncalanan ellerine \u00e7evirdi. C\u0131l\u0131z bir iki<\/p>\n
kelime edecek oldu. \u201cAma ben ne yapabilirdim ki? Orada bir s\u00fcr\u00fc ki\u015fi vard\u0131.<\/p>\n
Yaln\u0131z ben de\u011fil oradaki herkes g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0131rpmadan izlemi\u015fti t\u00fcm olan biteni\u201d<\/p>\n
…Sustu. Sarf edebilece\u011fi s\u00f6zc\u00fckler s\u0131n\u0131ra dayand\u0131. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirip soka\u011f\u0131n<\/p>\n
sonuna do\u011fru bakt\u0131.\u015ea\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Buraya defalarca gelmi\u015f olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen<\/p>\n
k\u00f6\u015fedeki tabelay\u0131 ilk kez fark ediyordu. G\u00f6zlerini k\u0131sarak belli belirsiz g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc,<\/p>\n
\u00fczerinde deniz mavisi \u015feritler olan yaz\u0131y\u0131 sesli olarak okudu. \u201cVicdan \u00c7\u0131kmaz\u0131\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131kla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Vapurdan inen kar\u0131nca yuvas\u0131n\u0131 and\u0131ran kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131na kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onu g\u00f6rmemi\u015f olmas\u0131n\u0131 diledi. \u015eu an istedi\u011fi son \u015fey saatlerce nasihat dinlemekti. Kalabal\u0131ktan s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p arka soka\u011fa sapt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u015fehrin u\u011fultusu b\u0131\u00e7ak gibi kesildi. Nefes al\u0131p veri\u015fi ...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":87,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[57],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=86"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":88,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions\/88"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/87"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=86"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=86"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arzukupsar.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=86"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}